I take it back

I feel kind of weird, having written about the guy from Saturday.  I'm used to just ranting about things that suck.  Now that I put it out there that I like this guy, I feel like karma is going to kick my ass and f*ck things up for me.  It likes to do that.  I think it's maybe the karma that makes me manic.  B/c it waits until things are going good, at this point really good, this month has been awesome, then it shows up at my door, "Hey, I'm here to f*ck up your life.  It won't take long."  I'm too dramatic, b/c honestly, my life is not bad.  Extremely bad things don't happen to me.  So what if maybe a guy I want to call doesn't- I don't cry over it.  I can't even think of the last time I gave a sh*t.  And if someone out there can, don't remind me.  It's not worth remembering.  At this point, I should just focus on worrying about what the hell I want to do with my life rather than wondering when some guy is going to call.  I can't help it though- I obsess.  It's what I do.  I'd like to paint a pretty picture of it, but it's actually pretty annoying.  And other than this moment right now in which I'm talking about it, for most of the time I keep it in my head.  And it stays there, festering, ready to explode, with thoughts of a million different scenarios, a series of probabilities and likelihoods.  All over a f*cking phone call.  You know, maybe I shouldn't be saying any of this.  I don't want to put that crazy vibe out there.  Just think of it as me being neurotic, b/c that sounds cuter than crazy.  I know I'm neurotic.  I've embraced this fact.  Actually, forget neurotic.  Let's call it quirky.  Yeah, quirky sounds good.  It's something you would read about a funny actress who lacks the typical hollywood star looks of say, Kate Hudson.  B/c frankly, Kate Hudson isn't funny.  Julia Roberts isn't funny.  Janeane Garafalo- now she's funny.  Some might even say "quirky".
Reagan